my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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