Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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