Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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