He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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