Your mouth is God's brothel.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
