Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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