I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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