maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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