he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
