And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
