In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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