I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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