Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
