She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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