do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
