was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
