He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
