Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize