Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
