They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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