I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
