Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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