you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
