Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love having hate sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
