do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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