Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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