Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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