i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
