sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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