What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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