You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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