Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
