Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize