Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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