Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
