what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
