doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
