evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
