Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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