My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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