I hate your face
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize