Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
