Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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