Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
accomplished twins. life is a go
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
