I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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