Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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