He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize