Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
