she was so not down for the gang bang
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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