Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
