the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dicks are not precious.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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