Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
