He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I am puke
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
