Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
