toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
