I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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