I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the day after is always just damage control
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Houston, we have a squirter
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
