and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
