how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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