I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
