chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize