He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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