I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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