He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
In America we eat man semen.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
