WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
