There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
