Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
