who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
