I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
