A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
