Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
