he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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